Every so often I have to make me a reset.
Yeah, It is so, Sometimes we can think that once we have done therapy, learned about ourselves and found that inner peace that we so longed for, This is already going to stay like this without any effort or attention on our part.
And I have also fallen many times in that desire, I have even spent long seasons surprised at how well I was and how capable it was to cope with any blow that life brought.
And at least I expected it, I have seen me again in the same dynamics with which I have worked so long to create new new ones.
Life is full of triggers that can make our old mental program emerge, The one we create during our years of development.
When we were little we didn't know anything about this world, We knew a lot about our needs and how to satisfy them but at the same time we were totally dependent on another human being knew how to interpret them correctly and be willing to help us satisfy them.
That is to say, We needed, For example, someone who returned our security when we felt fear, Someone who helped us deal.
Someone who was Emotionally available and in tune With us.
These repeated experiences make our brain grow healthy and capable of self -regulating emotionally.
Unfortunately many of us grew up with adults who were in turn dealing with their own difficult emotions. It is quite possible that we have grown up in places where our caregivers had their own unsolved stories, their unprocessed traumas and duels and that means that these people had tremendously deregulated nervous systems. What translated means that they were not in contact with their own emotions since they had survived separating from their pain and therefore could not support or properly attend to ours when it arose.
Not having those experiments of Co-rregulation Early our mind had to take care of our inner discomfort and did it by separating our rational brain from our emotional brain. A part of us was in charge of continuing with the day to day as if nothing happened to us inside. And another was responsible for staying alert and developing all survival instincts to protect us from spending bad things again.
What our brain turns into a very reactive brain and with few capacities of self -regulating, since there is no good communication between the part of the brain that gives meaning, organizes and self -regulates the emotional experience and our most intuitive and emotional brain.
Adults when we live outside our ability to deal with our internal experience unconsciously do all kinds of things to cope with life.
We have anger attacks to try to change the reality that hurts or bothers us, or to protest the lack of affection we feel. Let's drink, We humiliate, we criticize, And we get addicted to anything that helps us to distract the attention of those painful places within us of those who have almost even forget that they are there.
And these addictions are of all kinds, Because when we think of addiction tobacco comes to mind, Drugs, Maybe the game, internet…However there is an addiction in which we do not usually realize, I the first.
It is the addiction to being busy.
And from here comes my need for reset.
I have discovered that I have a protective part, he took the role of doing a lot of things, have me very busy to get away from my difficult feelings.
That part is so socially accepted and many times so subtle that it is difficult for me to detect when it has been made in charge of my life and my entire internal system. It makes me get into wonderful projects and carry out a lot of work forward and it is difficult for me to realize that I am not yo Because you have specialized in doing jobs that also give me a lot of satisfaction.
When I am centered, and my YO, mi Self, is leading my interior, She is in her healthier role, helping me make sense of my life, But sometimes, hay triggers that arouse some wound inside and I disappear again.
This part of my takes control to help me not feel and be able to move on and sometimes it costs me time to make myself aware of this.
Before I usually had to get sick or have some big disagreement with someone to realize that something was happening to me.
Now that I have more practice in this of my “Interior family” I begin to notice the signals before. I have a ritual that I usually do to check what I am, I see if I feel my heart open or I am rather irritable and people bothers me, I also look at my energy level… And I begin to realize that I'm not quite here.
And if I am not who is taking charge of my life?
It is usually her, If I leave it without my leadership, you are able to do me alone to work and work and in the end active to my bomber.
With which I will be in this pattern again.
What I do?
I need to pause, apply the brake. Realize that I'm not here.
I look at what part of me is activated and I thank you for taking care of everything.
I ask you to tell me what feelings you are trying to move away from my conscience. What is trying not to feel, What is trying to protect.
And then, Once I can be in contact with my fundamental emotions, With the feelings that was not allowing me to feel, I can listen to them and meet their needs.
Now yes, I can do it as if that were that mother or dad in tune, loving, Without expectations, Listening, hug, Give unconditional presence and take the actions that part of me needs to feel safe and loved again.
We call this an internal corrective experience.
And everything has begun with a pause, one moment, in which I have stopped to observe.
Because life happens moment by moment and sometimes we are all losing them.